Frustration at work? How do I tell my boss?

Frustration at work has a negative impact on the quality of life and can even make you ill.

Occasional frustration at work is normal. Not all tasks that need to be done are fun and not all colleagues are always just nice.

Neither does the boss.

But what do you do when the frustration has become a normal state? When even your private life suffers.

Then it's high time to act.

The best thing to do here is to start with a phase of self-reflection.

What exactly is it that frustrates me? Is it the task at hand? Problems with colleagues or even the boss? Or is it due to a lack of career opportunities?

All these are topics that you should first discuss with your boss. But there are a few things to consider for this interview. Therefore here is the story of my client, where such a conversation went wrong.

Storytelling with a pinch of reality

Mrs L., 60 years old, project manager in a medium-sized company. Mrs. L. had a conversation with her boss because she felt overloaded. The boss assured her that he would come up with a solution.

So far so good.

When the new year was planned a while later, the boss had assigned a project that should normally fall within her area to a colleague.

Mrs L. was suddenly unsettled. She was worried that the boss no longer trusted her with it. She wondered whether he might even consider her too old.

Basically she was quite happy that she did not have to take over the project. But she wanted to make sure that she would not be questioned as an employee.

So she asked for a meeting to clarify this. The result: The boss gave her the project „back“.

What had happened? The client had entered the conversation unprepared and could not convey to the boss what she was really about.

Here are my tips to make sure that doesn't happen to you:

tips for handling frustration at work

Be clear about what your goal of the conversation is. In the above example, the goal could have been: "I want to gain certainty that I will continue to be appreciated as an employee".

Also think about what you do not want. Otherwise, you might get overrun and agree to something you do not want.

In the example, this would have meant "non-target" for sure: "I don't want the project back."

Give the conversation a good framework.

At best, the conversation should take place in a separate meeting room, not in the boss's office.

Allow enough time. Important conversations should never take place in the middle of the room.

Indicate positively in the invitation to your boss what the conversation should be about.

For example: "I'd like to talk to you about my current assignment". "I am frustrated " I would not recommend.

If you already have a solution in mind, think carefully about how you can present it to convince the boss.

If your dissatisfaction is due to problems with colleagues or even the boss, avoid bringing charges. Bring examples of situations and explain what these situations have done to you.

In the best case, practice talking to your partner or a friend beforehand If the conversation does not go according to your expectations, end it with decency and then think about how you want to deal with it.

Be open and courageous.

Your boss is also only human and maybe he too has a queasy feeling during such conversations.

If the conversation is not successful, you can certainly ask for another conversation. Be persistent, it is about your life and your satisfaction.

If a second or even a third conversation remains unsuccessful, you should think about a fundamental change.

I will gladly support you on your way.

Just contact me via e-mail and we will find a solution together.

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I am a Human Resources developer with a passion. It always inspires me to support people in becoming the best version of themselves. And: it makes me happy when I can help people to overcome their fears and blockages.

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