When frustration at work destroys the relationship

Often stress, dissatisfaction or pressure is the root of all evil. Frustration on the job usually spreads to other areas of life.

This includes everyday family life or relationships. An example from my everyday life as a coach.

The situation

One thing was clear to Mrs. P. If she kept this up, she would have destroyed her relationship.

"Lately we'd been shouting at each other more and more often," said Mrs. P. when she came into my office.

"and I'm slowly getting worried that one day he'll pack his bags and leave. I don't want to lose him under any circumstances," she added.

"I am constantly irritated and annoyed. Sometimes even almost aggressive. And I don't want to do anything anymore," she continued.

"I have always loved sports and painting. But right now I just lie on the sofa after work".

I can't remember the last time I went out. "My bad mood probably scared off my friends soon, too."

she adds with a sigh.

I asked her what it looked like professionally.

In the preliminary interview she had told me that she was head of the finance department of a medium-sized company.

"Oh", she said, "I enjoy the work itself, but the employees... there's always trouble and conflicts. Someone always feels that they are being treated unfairly.

I just can't stand that anymore. It is so frustrating. No matter what I do, it's never right.

I slave away, I stand up for my employees, and they're still dissatisfied."

"How long has this dissatisfaction lasted?" I asked them. "A year and a half" was the answer.

"This is too much", I thought. Because in my opinion, when dissatisfaction lasts longer than six months, one should seriously think about change.

Because after a certain period of dissatisfaction at work, you can no longer prevent them from transferring the negative feelings to your private life.

This was also the case with Ms. P., as we found out in the further course of the coaching.

I asked Ms. P. to first take the Egoruption® Vocation Test. After Mrs. P.

had answered the 10 questions of the test, she already started to brood and told me afterwards. In the evaluation meeting that took place afterwards, it turned out that Ms. P.

basically followed her vocation: *"She was deeply satisfied with her work as a financial manager and enjoyed the leadership.

Do you know such situations? Mail me info@susanne-grebe.de if you need support!

The Problem

But then where was the bunny in the pepper? To find out, we worked with emtrace® Coaching.

This method makes it possible to fathom and solve deeper lying blockades.

As it turned out, Ms. P. had a deep-seated fear of conflicts. The anger of other people also triggered fear in her.

Therefore she could not deal with the problems of her co-workers.

For a while this had gone well, but as the critical issues in her department became more frequent, the limit of what she could compensate for was reached.

The approach

In two emtrace® sessions we succeeded in releasing the fear. This was the basis for working on their leadership skills.

She learned to be more open with her employees without getting entangled in their problems.

With training in communication and question techniques as well as conflict resolution skills, she has developed further as a manager and can now devote herself to her actual management task:

to support her employees in their further development.

Conclusion or follow up

Already during the coaching process Ms. P. told us that her situation at home had improved.

Her husband was happy that she was facing her problems and they were talking about them very openly. No more nagging.

„And if they do, her husband will draw their attention to it directly and they can laugh about it together", she said with a smile.

In a follow-up interview about a year later Mrs. P. told us that she was again very satisfied.

Her relationship was saved and the job was really fun again.

With enthusiasm she would see what a good influence her change had on the employees.

This would be a great success and she wanted to continue working on it, she concluded.

Ms. P. is a good example of how strong the influence of dissatisfaction is at work.

Especially when the dissatisfaction is suppressed.

For this leads to inner dissonance, which can quickly spread to all areas of life.

In the worst case, professional dissatisfaction leads to illness. And once it has come so far that the body rebels, it is no longer as easy to resolve as it was with Mrs. P.

My tips

Tips for dealing with frustration at work

What to do? If you feel an inner discontent but can't locate it.

  1. Go through all areas of life in your mind: Family/relationship, social life, work, body/health, finances.
  2. go through the areas one after the other and think about how many points you would give each area on a scale of one to 10 (1 = bad, 10 = very good) The question is: How am I doing at work? (Family, health...).
  3. when you have gone through all the areas, start with the area that received the least points. So the area in which you feel worst. This is the area with the greatest potential for quick improvement.

You need professional support for your change towards more fulfilment and joy in your job.

Please contact me info@susanne-grebe.de. I look forward to meeting you.

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